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We trusted his words and treated him almost like an emo god.” Where did we lose the plot?When I think about the decades that immediately preceded third-wave emo—about D. punk, riot grrrl, Kurt Cobain proclaiming women the future of rock—I’m astonished that it happened at all. Most of all, I wonder why us girls couldn’t detect the harm in these lyrics as we shouted them back, plastered them on our profiles, carved them on our Converse with ballpoint pens.

“It’s been talked about for a while but it hasn’t actually been happening.” In her groundbreaking 2003 essay “Emo: Where the Girls Aren’t,” originally published in , Jessica Hopper was watching.Men constantly treated me like I was there primarily to meet them.In fact I did not care much about boys at this point in my life.Earlier this year, as Brand New was on the cusp of releasing a new record, I asked my male coworkers to Google the words “Brand New date rape song.” We were considering awarding Brand New’s fifth album the distinction of Best New Music, and I wanted my peers to be clear about this unsettling aspect of the band’s history. It goes, “I got desperate desires and unadmirable plans/My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent/Bring you back to the bar/Get you out of the cold/My sober straight face gets you out of your clothes.” Lacey later sings such biting lines as “I almost feel sorry for what I’m gonna do” and “If you let me have my way I swear I’ll tear you apart.” Of course, Lacey has denied that these lyrics are autobiographical, claiming that he was describing a nightmare he feared; only a monster would accept these thoughts as his own.At this point, in August, the disturbing allegations against frontman Jesse Lacey—years spent preying on at least two underage Brand New fans, soliciting them online for nude photos and more—had not been made. Third-wave emo—the 2000s mutation of the sound as sold at Hot Topic, as dialogued on Myspace and Live Journal, and as broadcast on MTV—was a notoriously sexist commodity. The song that appears when you Google “Brand New date rape song” is “Me Vs. Lacey still found them suitable to sing on Brand New’s breakout record, attaching his name to them forever.

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But Straylight Run was the exception to the rule in a scene that hardly represented young women.

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  1. Women eventually won the right to vote in many countries and own property and receive equal treatment by the law, and these changes had profound impacts on the relationships between men and women. In many societies, individuals could decide—on their own—whether they should marry, whom they should marry, and when they should marry.