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However, I’ve witnessed case after case in which those marriages were saved, sometimes even after the divorce took place.
One couple remarried after being divorced ten years! There are marriages that are doomed and no matter what happens, it will end and never be healed.
On the other hand, for many years I’ve seen the salvaging of marriages that seemingly everyone else has given up on.
Admittedly, I become frustrated with leaders or counselors who too quickly encourage the abandoned spouse to accept that it’s over and move on. However, my experience is that too often we don’t count on the power of God and, therefore, make premature judgments about how hopeless a situation might be. I think that’s a fairly good word to use when God’s involved.
They might even have heard the startling news that God Himself sent the lover and that He wants them to be together. The fact is that even in these situations a possibility exists that the marriage can be saved and, with time, made good again.
Or, they might have heard that your spouse no longer believes what they once believed, so the church folks may as well go bother someone who buys into their malarkey. That may sound Pollyannaish, but I’ve personally witnessed it repeatedly over the last sixteen years.
When they see that you can live happily without them, you become more attractive. No matter how much you love your spouse, life can go on and be good if he or she leaves you. When you are sure that your spouse is involved in something, or with someone, that is wrong, arrange a group to do an intervention.A straying partner who has convinced him- herself that life will be wonderful with the new person seldom decides that before he or she leaves they should take one more run at saving the marriage.It’s much more likely that the abandoning spouse will avoid anything that might convince him or her to stop the new relationship and heal the marriage.I’ll make another admission; I’ve gone through marriage intensives with couples that at the end I would have predicted there was no way they would heal their marriage. For example, recently a couple came through our weekend intensive workshop for marriages in crisis that shared a remarkable story. Like so many others they didn’t understand the danger and forged ahead with a friendship that was destined to become a passion.Though highly involved in their church, she had gotten too close to another member and that had gradually led to adultery. By the time they realized they were on the wrong path, they were so enmeshed with each other that they were convinced that the best thing for everyone – spouses, children, church – was to divorce their spouses and marry each other.
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Time is on your side, especially if you continually pray for God to intercede and bring trials and tribulations into the sinful relationship.